5 gifts that definitely won’t be under your tree this Christmas
It’s Christmas morning and the world is filled with wonder and glee, but have you every wondered what presents haven’t made the Christmas wishlist this year.
To enlighten you on this Christmas morn and to make you really appreciate the gifts (if any) you have received, the team here at Agriland has compiled a list of very, we mean very, unlikely Christmas gifts this year.
1. A blind sheepdog
As the old saying goes a dog is for life and not just for Christmas, but if you happen to stumble down the stairs and find a blind sheepdog, you are sure to question the reasoning behind such a gift.
However, don’t write this present off too quickly as he might still be able to work.
Sheepdogs are a creature of habit and you never know, he might still herd sheep on instinct, but this is not advisable if you farm contains watercourses – believe us on this one folks!
2. Rodent fearing cats
Like the trusted sheepdog, no Irish farm is complete without a cat to keep the vermin at bay.
As useful as a chocolate teapot or a mini skirt on an Angus heifer, a rodent-fearing cat will make you really question the reasoning behind such a marvelous gift.
Some say that these wonderful animals may be allergic to rodents, but we have a feeling they are just pure lazy.
3. A load of the WESHT’S finest turf
Naughty boys and girls, both young and old, may be in for a shock this year when they find their living room filled with a load of the ‘wesht’s’ finest turf.
We have it one good authority from the jolly man in red that he plans to switch from coal to turf in a bid to reduce the emissions generated from his trusted reindeer.
Please don’t ask us where the exhaust pipe is on a reindeer!!
4. A dozen Jersey bull calves
Beef cattle numbers are set to increase this year and with the doom and gloom currently surrounding the market outlook, the last thing you want to see on Christmas morning is a dozen Jersey bull calves.
What could be worse than finding a dozen Jersey bull calves panned out on the floor or your sitting room after a heavy night on the eggnog?
The answer is quite simple really – Two dozen!!
5. A load of the finest golden Barley straw
Poor weather during this year’s harvest has seen the demand for straw rocket and although an extra load of straw would be on the top of many farmer’s wishlists, the likelihood of this happening is extremely unlikely.
First of all how would you get it down the chimney and secondly what farmer would go without a fire of Christmas eve to ensure that the straw does catch light??